This week has certainly taken me off the beaten path. Stress, sickness and several other factors have pushed my diet to the wayside, leaving me behind to fend for myself. I realize after the incidents of this week, that I have to be in a good place to lose weight. I cannot feel like I want to cry all the time. I cannot feel like I need to eat all the time. I have to know who I am, what I want, and where I'm going.
Except, it's not really that easy.
That being said, I guess I am changing it up slightly. One step each week. Baby steps have fine-tuned themselves into pre-baby steps, LOL. I need to start at the very beginning. I am going to start a journal. My goal this week is write down everything I want: the weight I want to be, the job (or kind of job) I want to have, the kind of house I want, where I want to travel, etc. That has to be the first thing. Then, all the ideas I have, the thoughts and fears I have about the future will be down on paper, easy to find, easy to access, understand, and most importantly, easy to get started on. No more gimmicks, no more crazy schemes, just simple life, to the point, without the stress involved now.
At least one of the things that was on the list is already off: I am pretty sure we found a nice church to attend. This last Sunday we attended service at St. Peter's United Methodist. And it was fantastic. Pastor Megan talked about the different types of anger, how God shows us how to deal with it, and that there are types that are okay--something I really needed to hear. Eli was allowed to leave the service with the other school aged children to attend "Truthseekers," a special kids service during the sermon. He LOVED it and can't wait to go back next week. Everybody made us feel very warm and welcome. I may have found my place there.
So, today I begin a new journey, not just about my weight, but about me, where I came from, where I'm going, and what I need and want. Hopefully this is the best way to find ME. :)